HoNoToGroABeMo.org: How Not to Grow a Beard Month

Thursday, October 29, 2009

This year we're collecting donations for The Ann Voegerl Memorial Breast Cancer Research Fund. If you have a few spare bucks and like boobs, please consider donating them. The bucks, that is.

100% of all funds received will be given directly to the breast cancer research foundation I (Bob) deem most worthy¹. Not one cent will be deducted. I'll even cover the PayPal fees on the first $1,000 in donations and our esteemed colleague, Kris Johnson has volunteered to cover them on the second $1,000!².

Use this Donate button to give a general donation, or sponsor one of the hairy, manly beards below. It's a little-known fact that sponsorship helps beards grow. Trust me, it's SCIENCE. He or she who collects the most sponsorship will earn a Fabulous Prize³, most likely consisting of a web emblem of some sort.

¹ Okay, I did a little research and it looks like the Breast Cancer Research Foundation is the organization most likely to get our collected donations. While there are certainly other worthwhile uses of charitable contributions: care, support, awareness; my primary goal is ridding the human race of the cancer plague, and for that, we need research. BCRF seems to put the most focus on research and is rated highly by organizations that rate charities.

² We've exceeded the goal! We can't afford to go on covering PayPal fees forever, sadly, but your donations are still welcome and all but 30 cents + 2.9% goes to Breast Cancer Research.

³ Thanks to Natalie Metzger, the prize is now officially fabulous. She has volunteered to provide an 8x10 original beard-themed art commission to the collector of most sponsorship.

Total collected so far: $ 3,708.23; Goal: $ 2,500.00

The Rogues Gallery:

Sponsor this beard

mightymur

Current Leader at $ 869.93

Fine. It's been established that I cannot grow a beard. But I grow boobs better than all of these guys. Protect the ladies. There are still some hours to donate.

Sponsor this beard

Cmaaarrr

88.97% of Leader at $ 773.96

I'm not saying this will settled the age-old "doctors v. engineers" conflict, or anything...

But I suspect it might.

Sponsor this beard

David Moore

75.21% of Leader at $ 654.25

Coders have inner reserves, and stay up all night on the last day to code miracles.

This smack brought to you by the folks at DigitalPrimates.net. (You can even see the logo in the picture right now.)

Sponsor this beard

Chris Miller

38.39% of Leader at $ 334.00

You don't seriously want Cmar to win this thing, do you? Support the fat programmer! There's a neckbeard at stake here!

Sponsor this beard

Kris Johnson

32.76% of Leader at $ 285.00

Moxie and pizzazz apparently don't bring in donations. Looks like I'm back to Plan B: Blackmail. You know I've got the goods on you, and I'll go public unless this beard gets fed tasty, tasty donations.

Sponsor this beard

Jim Van Verth

26.55% of Leader at $ 231.00

And David Moore comes through for the engineers!

Sponsor this beard

Jeff Greiner

19.54% of Leader at $ 170.00

Sigh

Sponsor this beard

Wesley

16.32% of Leader at $ 142.00

I'm trying to reconcile how the person with the most donations had the worst beard. I think this is one of those times where you have to throw away the outlier data points so that SCIENCE will keep money coming in to grow our beards.