"And all should cry, Beware! Beware! His flashing eyes, his floating hair!"

Here, you see me working inside my office deep within The Secret Lair.

Normally, I do not look like this. Kris's new toy, which he claims will guarantee him a facial hair victory, was being activated down the hall.

Personally, I have my doubts. I don't care what kind of waste the Large Hadron Collider produces, rubbing the powdery stuff on your face and standing inside one of the Tesla Mark VII Quantum Uncertainty Field Generators cannot be good for you.

This picture was taken when the Mark VIIs were fired up. Note the distortion. I'm not sure what the screaming was all about, but I've sent some minions to check it out.

As for the beard, a healthy stubble is pushing its way out, like spring flowers or zombie hands from the earth. Slow but steady; total victory is assured.