Oh so soft and cuddle-y...
Syphilis is my very favorite infectious disease.
The reasons for this are many, including it's historical importance, the biology of Treponema pallidum and it's interactions with humans, and what it says about humanity's complete and total inability to keep it in our pants, as it were, among many other reasons.
Also, it's just so darn pink and snuggley! Especially after a long, hard Day 12, I find it such a comfort to give the pox a big hug and feel the warmth and love suffuse into my exhausted body.
I especially find joy in scritching it behind it's cute wittle head and snuggling it against my incoming jaw-rug and OH AZATHOTH ABOVE WHAT AM I DOING I AM FACE-SPOONING SYPHILIS IT IS BOTH NUMB AND BURNING-
*cough*
Ahem.
Sensation: an incredibly soft warmth where the syphilis hugs my neck
Palpation: plush firmness, both pliant and solid in my clutching hand
Personal satisfaction rating: 777 (out of 5 venereal Norsemen)
Feedback:
Venerable. You meant venerable. Tell me you meant venerable. TELL ME.
Also, cliché as it is, that was a perfect opportunity to rate it 69 out of 5.
Yes. Venerable. Clearly. That's what it was.
I had 69 down and changed it right before I hit save, in a vague effort to maintain the quasi-appropriateness of the blog. I will not make that misstep in the future.