Emmitt Kelly, eat your heart out

Well hey, we made it to two weeks. So why the sad face? Because happy clowns are creepy, that's why. See, sad clowns represent the pathos of modern life. We see them and think "Hey, my life isn't as bad as this sad sack. All is right with the world." But happy clowns contradict that -- they're far too jolly given all the bad things that happen to them -- pies in the face, etc. It's like the uncanny valley of comedy.

What does this have to do with beards? Not much. I just needed a justification to put a silly hat on and make a frowny face.