I will not breed you with my coffee. NO.

I share my office space where I see patients with another physician, as our hours do not overlap. For the most part, this is a good arraingement - we both specialize in Infectious Diseases, and she has a startlingly similar sense of humor to my own. That said, not all of our tastes are compatible.

Take, for instance, this ponderous, lotion-like dispenser of French Vanilla Coffee-Mate.

I enjoy my coffee for it's natural flavor, it's dark appearance, and it's undiluted caffeine punch. My fellow doc clearly wants to add flavor and calories in an unholy cross-species mating of bean and artificially-flavored dairy product. Many genetic experiments I can tolerate, but this one is too profane to consider. *shudder*

And, seriously, a lotion-like dispenser?

It doesn't kill germs. Also, it takes forever to wash off your hands... uh, not that I'd know. Or anything.

It is also worth noting that we've entered the final two weeks with this Day 16, and I have the dubious honor of being profiled by Mr. Johnson. I feel a powerful urge to dispute at least some of what he says, but alas, I cannot.

Sensation: although still periorally light, the overall "wear" is pleasing

Palpation: soft and feathery, with a pleasant submandibuar scritch-factor

Personal satisfaction rating: 3 (out of 5 Norsemen)