If you're writing a twelve-part series of posts intended to better acquaint readers with the people behind the beards (as I am), it helps to know a bit about those people so you don't have to, well, make stuff up. But never mind that, it's time for the next installment of Better Know a Beard.
Jeff Greiner is not of this Earth. Oh, sure, he lives here now, but he was originally—
Wait a minute. Is he living here now? I don't even know. He claims to be somewhere in "North Carolina", but that sounds like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. He could be updating via tight-beam sub-etha wave transmitter, for crying out loud. The guy could be anywhere within twelve parsecs of Earth, and that's nothing to sneeze at. Or on. Or near.1
Jeff claims to be some sort of teacher. Is he teaching human children unspeakable geometries? Perhaps he is teaching adolescent alieninjas2 how to blend in with the native people of Raleigh or Durham or Winston-Salem;3 pretty much anywhere but Lumberton—the last thing you want to do is convince anyone you're native to Lumberton.
Jeff is also ostensibly the host of The Tome Show, a podcast featuring "Dungeons and Dragons News, Reviews and Interviews". I have never heard anyone interview a dragon before, but I seem to remember that talking dragons sound an awful lot like Sean Connery, so that would be pretty cool.
The last thing you should know about Jeff is that he started this whole business with a soul patch dangling from his lower lip.4 So he's probably also a beat poet.
1Sneeze into the crook of your elbow, if nothing else. I don't want your blasted swine flu.
2Yes, alien ninjas.
3Winston-Salem Blending Tip #1: Always have a cigarette dangling from your mouth.
4I'm pretty sure it was intentional, but maybe he just failed his "Shave Entire Beard Off" roll.
Feedback:
Everything here seems entirely accurate based on my limited experience with this "Jeff Greiner" fellow you speak of.
Other Flash Facts:
Jeff is 30. Years, inches, people...that's up to you to decide.
Jeff was born and raised in Atlantic, Iowa. Legend has it that the town founders thought the town was equal distance between the two oceans flanking North America. They flipped a coin to decide the name and it came up Pacific. They determined that was an inadequate name and called it Atlantic anyway.
Jeff has a dog named General Dwight D. Eisenhower. It is possible that the pet actually contains the reincarnated soul of the World War II veteran but it is entirely well known and established that the canine does not contain the soul of President Dwight D. Eisenhower.
This is all for now...