Also, soft and cuddly...

Penicillin isn't quite my very favorite antibiotic, but it's up there.

Although often relegated to more historical importance in modern times, penicillin still has several key roles to play in the therapy of infections. Many species of Streptococci, including those responsible for Strep throat, remain exquisitely sensitive to penicillin. Certain other organisms, such as Actinomyces, are also well-treated by this medication. And the unfortunate few who have rheumatic heart disease also see benefit from said drug for long term prophylaxis of attacks.

And, of course, in the treatment of SYPHILIS. And the comforting of this Day 18 crackling virility hedge.

Sensation: soothing, fuzzy warmth of the penicillin face-probes

Palpation: fuzzy plush of curative joy

Personal satisfaction rating: 5 (out of 5 chaste Norsemen)

Growing the face-lawn the all natural way...

Today, this lovely Day 17, Warren Ellis declared on Twitter:

'the term "beard" shall henceforth be replaced by "crackling virility hedge"'

That is all.

Sensation: an unexpected heavy fullness, and the feeling of being rooted to the earth itself

Palpation: rough, but lush, barky needles

Personal satisfaction rating: 42 (out of 5 Green men)

I will not breed you with my coffee. NO.

I share my office space where I see patients with another physician, as our hours do not overlap. For the most part, this is a good arraingement - we both specialize in Infectious Diseases, and she has a startlingly similar sense of humor to my own. That said, not all of our tastes are compatible.

Take, for instance, this ponderous, lotion-like dispenser of French Vanilla Coffee-Mate.

I enjoy my coffee for it's natural flavor, it's dark appearance, and it's undiluted caffeine punch. My fellow doc clearly wants to add flavor and calories in an unholy cross-species mating of bean and artificially-flavored dairy product. Many genetic experiments I can tolerate, but this one is too profane to consider. *shudder*

And, seriously, a lotion-like dispenser?

It doesn't kill germs. Also, it takes forever to wash off your hands... uh, not that I'd know. Or anything.

It is also worth noting that we've entered the final two weeks with this Day 16, and I have the dubious honor of being profiled by Mr. Johnson. I feel a powerful urge to dispute at least some of what he says, but alas, I cannot.

Sensation: although still periorally light, the overall "wear" is pleasing

Palpation: soft and feathery, with a pleasant submandibuar scritch-factor

Personal satisfaction rating: 3 (out of 5 Norsemen)

Beard Zen.

Sunday. A day of worshipful contemplation for many Abrahamic and other religious faiths, and a day of rest for most before diving back into the grind of the work week.

And for us, on Day 15, it is a day of focus and meditation on facial mane thickening. We are the Bearding Monks of HoNoToGroABeMo, and we follow the Zen path.

Today is also an excellent time, as we end the first half of the month, to meditate on the amazing donations we've received thus far for breast cancer research. As I type this, we've hit $1530, which is less than $1000 away from our goal. I continue to be blown away, and if you haven't donated, please consider doing so. The greenbacks fertilize these jaw-lawns!

Sensation: the face complains not about it's thickening hair-coat

Palpation: feathery softness is transitioning into scruff in some areas

Personal satisfaction rating: 3.5 (out of 5 Norsemen)

Happy Holidays!

It may be mid-November, but that doesn't mean that we can't get our holiday spirit on a bit early. At this point, most Christmas decorations have been out in stores since well before Halloween, and it's about time for the consumables to catch up. Hence, it's time for the best part of the lead-up to the season: beverages!

Troeg's Mad Elf Ale gets the honor of posing with me on this Day 14, not only because it is a holiday favorite, but also because my leaving it at someone-who-may-also-be-participating-in-HoNoToGroABeMo's house for them to quaff the night before an important job interview without them realizing it's alcoholic strength is partially responsible for my name being turned into a cry of vengeance. Verily, it is the stuff of legend.

Also, I'll take this opportunity to declare November 30th to be Beardmas, for it is the day our follicular gifts will have truly ripened, and deserve to be celebrated! And we are just about halfway there! Huzzah!

Sensation: virtually nothing out of the ordinary, meaning I'm inching closer to "default beard" stage

Palpation: increasing feathery notes, especially in the submandibular region

Personal satisfaction rating: 3.5 (out of 5 Norsemen)

I'd run you over, but frankly, it's not worth the effort.

Day 13 also is Friday the 13th, which can be the only explanation as to why I have spent an inordinate amount of time in my car this evening.

Clearly, several black cats erected a ladder across all lanes of traffic on I-695, complete with an intricate dangling mirror mobile, and the unseemly hordes decided that this was too much of a risk to cross, so the better course of action would be to just wait for Jason Voorhees to come by and hack the whole thing to splintery shards, so that traffic could proceed. And Jason took his sweet, plodding time doing so.

This isn't road rage... this is road disgust. And it's aimed right at you, incomprehensibly slow driver-people.

Sensation: the current growth is an excellent windbreaker

Palpation: feathery face softness

Personal satisfaction rating: 3 (out of 5 Norsemen)

Oh so soft and cuddle-y...

Syphilis is my very favorite infectious disease.

The reasons for this are many, including it's historical importance, the biology of Treponema pallidum and it's interactions with humans, and what it says about humanity's complete and total inability to keep it in our pants, as it were, among many other reasons.

Also, it's just so darn pink and snuggley! Especially after a long, hard Day 12, I find it such a comfort to give the pox a big hug and feel the warmth and love suffuse into my exhausted body.

I especially find joy in scritching it behind it's cute wittle head and snuggling it against my incoming jaw-rug and OH AZATHOTH ABOVE WHAT AM I DOING I AM FACE-SPOONING SYPHILIS IT IS BOTH NUMB AND BURNING-

*cough*

Ahem.

Sensation: an incredibly soft warmth where the syphilis hugs my neck

Palpation: plush firmness, both pliant and solid in my clutching hand

Personal satisfaction rating: 777 (out of 5 venereal Norsemen)

Twisted beard envy? Or merely action figure appreciation?

G.I. Joe has long been a symbol of both patriotism and entertainment. And on this Day 11, which also happens to be Veterans Day, it also provides bearded inspiration. Behold, from the stock card of the action figure before me:

MACHINE GUNNER

Code Name: SSGT. ROCK 'N ROLL

FILE NAME: McConnel, Craig S. SN RA989091452

PRIMARY MILITARY SPECIALTY: Infantry

SECONDARY MILITARY SPECIALTY: PT Instructor

BIRTHPLACE: Malibu, California GRADE: E-5

SSGT. ROCK 'N ROLL was a surfer in Malibu prior to enlistment. He was also a weight lifter and played bass guitar in local rock bands. Is familiar with all NATO and Warsaw pack light and heavy machine guns. Graduated: Advanced Infantry Training (Top of Class). Specialized education: Covert Ops School.

"SSSGT ROCK 'N ROLL is cunning but naive, forceful but shy. Possesses a strong sense of loyalty to his teammates and is sincerely concerned about their wellbeing.A man of honor and integrity who can be counted on to hold the line."

They left out "rolls with an awesome, Nordic beard that enhances aim and distracts enemies."

A most sincere "thank you" to all who have served.

Sensation: normal face-feeling has completely returned

Palpation: feathery smoothness that is starting to gain a slight bulk

Personal satisfaction rating: 3 (out of 5 Norsemen)

Savin' lives and growin' beards.

I often take it for granted that when I tell people in the global community at large that I am "a doctor," that they will believe me. This is not always the case. I could, for instance, be someone who is not a doctor, but who plays one on TV on podcasts and in other online fora. Or I may be engaged in a rather obtuse, long-lived and expensive solo LARP. In any case, a select few argue that since male physicians cannot have ponytails, I am not to be trusted.

Here, then, is proof of my doctorhood:

• I'm in a well-lit, emergency-room setting

• trauma bay doors are clearly visible over my right shoulder

• a telemetry monitor is obvious over my left shoulder

• I'm showing off my Day 10 growth with my patented "C'mon, I'm a doctor" look

Either that or I am the type of unqualified person who dresses up and hangs out in emergency rooms. Also possible.

Sensation: neckline itch is barely notable

Palpation: pleasantly smooth and feathery

Personal satisfaction rating: 3 (out of 5 Norsemen)

Ok, maybe the light wasn't the best idea to display my growth...

It seems that the discussion of tending our mandibular lawns LIKE MEN ONCE DID has prompted a response, of sorts. I find it curious that said response contains many words, but no actual photographic proof of action to back said words up.

As such, on this lovely Day 9, I will not fall into some ill-advised language-based conflict with those who have chosen to "grow" their beards like boys now do. I instead show you my fuzzy progress, with some extra illumination to help you out.

Sensation: itch mostly receded, no trace of abnormal wind currents

Palpation: soft all about, with reducing peri-oral prickle factor

Personal satisfaction rating: 3 (out of 5 Norsemen)