Attention Beard Brethren! I have received a rare and unexpected gift yesterday, my "trophy" for my Beards 4 Boobs victory last November.
It is amazing.
It is glorious.
It will be framed and placed on my mantle above my peace prize, Iron man award and dangerous animal busts.
Kudos to you Bob and Double Kudos to the amazing work of A. Steigleder and N. Metger.
Thanks very much!
-Your Benevolent King
I opted for the mystery box, and guess what was inside? NOTHING, Nothing at all! Ah, just kidding, it was a note that said "turn around. I quickly flung myself around to find my pal Kuni and all his friends waiting to surprise me. They explained at everything over the past 29 days was actually an elaborate plan setup by "the internet" for the amusement of the 10 people following this blog. They went on to explain that the island itself is just a hologram created by a powerful super computer. All of the forest creatures I saw were apparently just people in rubber suits. They even said all those gummy worms I ate were ACTUALLY just real worms. I suppose I have no regrets for the last month. I raised a considerable sum of money and for a great cause, and all at the expense of my own dignity. Huzzah, HoNoToGroABeMo thanks for another great year!
(Seriously though, look at that beard, it's pretty awesome! There's still time! Donate before it's too late!)
-I have to go now, my planet needs me
With today being the sunset of my bearded adventure the Island itself appears to be trying to enjoy it's remaining time by toying with me. I have discovered 2 items on the beach, but have been instructed by a cryptic note that I may only choose one. Do I go with the tasty fish or the mystery box?? I've never been very good at gameshows and that fish looks pretty tasty, but the mystery box... It could be anything, more donations, a delicious cake, or even a boat! Do I take my chances on the box? Do I risk it all? Will this island plotline ever make sense? Find out in the final (Day 30) episode of... "The BeardFace Pete Chronicles 3: Beardface, too??"
-Wheel... Of.... Fish!
Feeling re energized after zen day and decided to put my energy to good use. I dug myself a dugout and diamond and decided to do a little training to get myself in shape for the grand escape. I also concocted a nice little energy brew to help with the exercise. I'm just hoping that it doesn't cause gigantism, that'd make it tougher to swim.
It's been an emotional day. The epic conclusion of Beards for Boobs 2012 is rapidly approaching and my island misadventures. Today I find myself in need of just some zen time to ponder and reflect on all that has been and the charitable donations that have been made so far. Thank you to everyone for all your support. Remember there is still time to show the ladies (and us) that you adore my luscious facial cornucopia or perhaps even the bearded minefield of another dastardly rogue. Three days left... so lets set the donations on fire!
I swam and swam and swam some more and I emerged in a new location on the island. Everything seems a bit... larger than normal. I met a very nice mushroom man who was passing by. He assured me that I was nearing the end of my journey and to press on. He then proceeded to sneeze cloud of spores into my face. I'm sure nothing terrible could possibly come of that, it's good for the complexion and my face is gettin' pretty rough.
Insanity is the mother of invention my crazy uncle used to say. I'm taking the plunge, so to speak, and tackling my #1 problem head-on: The Ocean! I figure with all the sea sponges, spores, fish, and fungus I've consumed over the last 25 days will probably give me some kind of fish-man powers. I'll probably just be able to walk on the bottom and eat bubbles along the way to keep me breathing. I'm sure this'll work!
-Why is the music getting faster?!
I fashioned some crude fireworks from bits and pieces of the explosive wildlife and my own coarse beard hair for the wicks. It's definitely making quite a scene so I can only hope passing boats may take notice and send help, or at the very least send a keg and some BBQ ribs. So far the only success I've had is keeping every animal within a 15 mile radius cowering in fear. Oh well, at least it keeps the zombies distracted. I may have to come up with a backup plan...
-Hey! Look over there!
Another miserable failure. My first mistake was asking for directions and the second was helping a flying house dog-fight a zeppelin piloted by a crazed old man, with dogs. I've crashed somewhere on the far side of the island. A far cry from where I started, but no matter I must get back to the drawing board on my great escape. I wonder how big of a squirrel pyre I'd have to make to be visible from space? Hmm...
-Cone of Shaaaaaaaame
Days of material harvesting, hours of assembly and about twenty... to thirty-five seconds of preparation. This balloon is the height of bearded ingenuity. This balloon should no doubt be able to fly me off this island. Hmm, it does seem a bit odd up here though, there are no birds at all. Oh hey, there's a house flying this way, maybe I can ask them for directions!
-Newest member of the Lollipop Guild